Introduction

Not all of the rules below were written by or for writers, but I think they all apply. I especially like Considine’s Law — which in my experience is true! Where I’ve found a rule in a book, I’ve referred to the book by the author’s surname in square brackets at the end of the entry. References are at the end of the article.

Allen's Axiom

When all else fails, read the instructions.

Bogovich’s Corollary to Mr Cooper’s Law

If the piece makes no sense without the word, it will make no sense with the word. [Bloch]

Coffee's observation

If you do not have anything to say, a word processor
will not say it ~ Peter Coffee

Comins’s Law

People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklyn said it first. [Rawson]

Computer Rule

To err is human but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Considine’s Law

Whenever one word or letter can change the entire meaning of a sentence, the probability of an error being made will be in direct proportion to the embarrassment it will cause. [Dickson]

Creasey’s Law

Never buy an editor or publisher a lunch or a drink until he has bought an article, story or book from you. [Rawson]

Faber’s Second Law (also known as The First Law of Historical Research)

The number of errors in any piece of writing rises in proportion to the writer’s reliance on secondary sources. [Dickson]

Felson’s Law

To steal from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. [Bloch]

See also Mizner’s law.

Freedman's 100% Rule

Preparation for a talk should never take longer than the talk, or series of talks, will be. To be honest, in the light of experience I think this is idealistic. In the real world, the rule which pertains most often is ….

Freedman's 5 Minute Rule

I invented this rule when I was a head of educational technology and educational technology Co-ordinator in a secondary (high) school. The way I saw it, someone should be able to come into my computer suite, log on, do some work, print it out and save it and log off, all in the space of 5 minutes even if they had never set foot in the school before. I set up systems to enable that to happen, and it was highly successful.

I think the same principle applies in other fields too, like writing. It shouldn’t take anyone more than 5 minutes to understand your instructions, the book you’re reviewing, whatever.

Freedman's One More Time Then I Must Get On With My Life Rule

Articles should only be revised once before submitting them. Any more than that and they lose their freshness. Basically, if you can't get it right second time, take the view that this will have to be good enough. Tough one that, if you're a perfectionist like me.

Freedman's Postulate

The reliability of computer systems is inversely related to the urgency of the task.

Freedman’s Rule of Inverse Proportionality

The shorter an article or presentation has to be, the longer it takes to prepare. It once took me a day to prepare a 5 minute talk. If I am given a word count limit of 500 words it takes me longer to write the piece than if the limit were 2,000 words.

I think the reason is that if you’re given room to waffle, you can afford to be imprecise, because you can come back to the same point in a different way and ensure that your meaning is clear in the end. Where the word count limit or time limit is lower, each word or minute has a much higher value, thanks to the old economics law of scarcity.

Gall's Second Principle of Systemantics

New systems generate new problems.

Gallois's Revelation

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled, and no one dares to criticise it.

Gilb's 1st law of unreliability

Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.

Gilb's 2nd Law of Unreliability

Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.

Gilb's 3rd Law of Unreliability

Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which, by definition, are limited. Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work done.

These rules were coined by Thomas Gilb, a systems engineer.

Grosch's Law

Computing power increases as the square of the cost. If you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times as fast.

Johnson’s Law

No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.

Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology

There's always one more bug.

Mizner’s Law of Research

If you steal from one author it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many it’s research. [Rawson]

Mr Cooper’s Law

If you do not understand a particular word in a piece of technical writing, ignore it. The piece will make perfect sense without it. [Bloch]

Murphy’s First Law of Photojournalism

No photojournalist is well dressed. [Bloch]

Murphy’s Law of College Publishing

Availability of manuscripts in a given subject area is inversely proportional to the need for books in that area. [Dickson]

Murphy’s Law of Research

Enough research will tend to support your theory. [Bloch]

Murphy’s Second Law of Photojournalism

No well-dressed photographer is a photojournalist. [Bloch]

Ninety-nine Rule of Project Schedules

The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

Peers's Law

The solution to a problem changes the problem.

Richards' First Law of Data Security

Don't buy a computer.

Richards' Second Law of Data Security

If you do buy a computer, don't turn it on.

Rosenstock-Huessy's Law of Technology

All technology expands the space, contracts the time, and destroys the working group.

Rubin’s Law of Literature

All writers are neurotic, but not all neurotics are writers. [Rawson]

Sattingler's Principle

It works better if you plug it in. If it still doesn't work, switch it on.

Senator Sorghum’s Law

When in doubt for an argument, turn to statistics. They sound very wise, and very few people will do the arithmetic necessary to contradict you. [Rawson]

Shipman's First Law

Digital literacy is inversely related to seniority within an organisation.

Shipman's Second Law

The length of time required for a task is inversely related to its simplicity.

The 1% Rule

From what I have seen (and apparently this is a well-observed phenomenon), in any undertaking only about 1% of the people affected are active in any way. What that means is that, on average, if you have a blog, say, that is followed by 100 people, only one of them is going to be moved by your efforts to get them to respond to something you’ve written.

The 90 Second Rule

The trouble with podcasts and their video equivalent, vodcasts, is that it's not easy to skim through to see if it's worth listening to or watching all the way through. Now, iTunes lets you listen or watch for 90 seconds without your having to download it. That should be enough time for anyone to decide if it's worth bothering with the whole thing.

Astonishingly, some podcasters have completely failed to understand this. There was one I was interested in, and I tried previewing 3 different episodes. All of them spent at least the first minute and a half on completely irrelevant stuff. Apart from the intro, which took up at least half the time, there was stuff about his loft, his dog, and some other highly interesting (to him) topic. By the time he said, "OK, today we're going to...", the preview timed out. I'm too busy to have other people waste my time: I can do that myself, but far more productively thank you!

The First Paragraph Rule

In a well written piece you will be able to tell from the first paragraph whether you need to read the whole thing. Newspaper articles are a classic example of this technique. No time to read the paper? Then read all the first paragraphs. They contain the gist of the story while the rest of it, usually, is concerned with filling in the details.

Same with press releases. Same with Government reports -- although there the "first paragraph" might be an executive summary of a couple of pages. Same principle though.

The Heading Rule

If you can't tell from the heading what the chapter/article/blog/section is about, at least to start thinking about it, skip it. I was browsing in a bookshop a couple of years ago and was looking at a book about website usability. The author stated that if a heading or link was worded in such a way that the reader had to think about what it might mean, it was no good.

Great stuff. What a pity, then, that he didn't take his own advice. I found it very hard to tell what some of the sections might be about. I didn't buy the book.

Tillis’ Organisational Principle

If you file it, you’ll know where it is but never need it. If you don’t file it, you’ll need it but never know where it is. [Bloch]

Trillin’s Corollary to Creasey’s Law

The advance for a book should be at least twice as much as the cost of the lunch at which it was discussed. [Rawson]

Trollope’s Rule

Three hours a day will produce as much as a man ought to write. [Rawson]

Twain’s Rules for Pleasing Authors

1.      Tell him you have read one of his books.

2.      Tell him you have read all of his books.

3.      Ask him to let you read the manuscript of his forthcoming book.

Weiner’s Law of Libraries

There are no answers, only cross-references. [Bloch]

Westheimer's Rule

To estimate the time it takes to do a task: estimate the time you think it should take, multiply by two, and change the unit of measure to the next highest unit. Thus we allocate two days for a one-hour task.

Wilde’s Law of Hard Work

This morning I took out a comma and this afternoon I put it back in again.

References

To view the books below, click on the pictures. (Amazon Associate links.)